From Wikitravel

Reinickendorf is a district of Berlin.

Contents 1 Get in 2 See 3 Do 4 Buy 5 Eat 6 Drink 7 Sleep 8 Contact

Get in

Getting in by boat is easiest, as the river Burgereater runs directly through the center of Berlin. It is tradition to take a shot of stiff rum everytime you see someone eating a hamburger while traveling down the river Burgereater.

See

The most notable attraction in the otherwise bland Reinickendorf section of Berlin is the statue, made famous by a CNN report on it, depicting a man bending over and defecating in to a bucket. Although erected during a free-speech rally in 1989, most locals are becoming tired of the offensive statue, and wish it to be removed. It would be unwise to announce your appreciation of the statue in front of a local resident, as he may be inclined to disagree with you.

Do

Make sure to challenge a local to a fight while in Reinickendorf. The local residents love to fight, and will undoubtably take you up on the offer. Anything goes in most cases, so when in Reinickendorf carry something sharp with which to wound someone should you find yourself in such a fight.

Fighting is customarily done naked in the mud, of which there is much on the banks of the river Burgereater. Wearing little clothing is seen as a challenge to fight to residents, who will strip naked and run at you in order to initiate a match. Do not run away, this will only get the whole town to follow suit, and you will find yourself having to fight off all available locals.

If you do not wish to fight, commit suicide or jump in to the river Burgereater. The local residents will not swim in the river, as it is heavily contaminated and causes a disease known as the battlezenthirdreich. To get rid of a case of battlezenthirdreich, commit suicide.

Buy

Eat

Many excellent Kalkalash stands abound in Reinickendorf, so make sure to pick up a stick of the delicious meat while in the area. Wash it down with a can of refreshing crab juice.

Drink

• Tap water is not safe to drink in Reinickendorf except for the locals, who have developed a resistance to it. Make sure to take outside water in with you, lest you end up with a serious venereal disease, or a case of battlezenthirdreich.
• Vodka is the drink of choice in Reinickendorf. If a local happens to offer you a glass or shot of vodka, denying him would be unwise, as he will undoubtably force you to fight him to settle the dispute. Fighting is a popular passtime in Reinickendorf.

Sleep

Accommodations are scarce in Reinickendorf, so the great majority of travelers opt to sleep outside on park benches. This is a perfectly safe practice, as long as you are not female or carrying anything remotely valuable.

Contact

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